Nine times I made a great fool out of myself

1. That time I pooped my pants, as a baby
   
   
2. That other time I pooped my pants as a slightly older baby. I don't remember these, I'm just assuming.
   
   
3. The other other three times I pooped my pants. I remember these times. I didn't like milk, I was pretty intolerant to it had to use the restroom right after drinking milk. They wouldn't let us use the restrooms without permission. This was in the first grade. I'm so freakin' glad kids in the little school I went to in Birgunj Nepal were not mean american kids.
   
   
4. That time I talked to a girl on the bus stop and thought she was pretty cool. We talked again and again. We made plans to hang out. My friends slid/dragged me away from her because "I shouldn't be doing that". Later I pretended to not see or have ever known her. On multiple occasions. Those were rough bus stop waits. I was sixteen. My relationship with women I could potentially be interested in is shaped in large part by this event.
   
   
5. The first time I got drunk in the U.S. It was nothing notable, it was for this large college-wide party. I didn't get uncontrollably drunk, had sanity and control throughout. I didn't know how to dance with girls. The first girl who I tried dancing with told me I didn't know how to dance at all. Which was so true. Should have learned to dance before. My attitude towards dancing with people has been shaped by this single event. I've never since danced with women in parties. Even if they come on to me, SPECIALLY when they come to me to dance. In my defence I don't know how to dance with people still.
   
   
6. Once told an acquaintance, who I thought I had a good rapport with, jokingly that I thought dentistry was a scam after letting her know I had had multiple procedures and suffered generally. She didn't get the joke. And was mad at me for a while apparently. Don't know, I was told.
   
   
7. Had to go to the person from above to get my teeth fixed, six months later.
   
   
8. Asked someone out for a date, someone I thought was sososo cool. Was reminded she had a boyfriend of ten years who she was getting married to very soon. Haven't asked out anyone since. What's the point the good ones are taken by definition or whatever.
   
   
9. Two almost three years ago in thanksgiving. Got high drunk mad at friends for smoking when we shouldn't have apologized for three weeks thereonwards, explained to them I was channeling in some other conflict and had absolutely nothing to do them even in my heavily inebriated state.