How to remove the stench of human blood from your being

Often one will wonder, how does one remove the stench of the human blood from one's being? It's possible to google such things, but the keywords are not precise, the advice rather...vague and confusing and it's not possible to follow those most of the times anyway since they'll ask for expensive treatment and procedure. It's really unfortunate because as the world gets smaller we come across more people completely drenched in fresh or stale human blood ready to stink up the room etcetera. And it can be awkward, communicating to them no thank you, that is not in fashion anymore and perhaps it's time for them to get a hobby that does not involve ripping innocent people's veins apart to presumably feed on their fresh blood but really they do it as a hobby, not even for survival or anything similar. Here's so relatively easy ways to solve the problem.

First, identify the source of the stench and how it gets to you. If it is from a human being you have cared or been close to recently, try to limit exposure, distract yourself with things that do not involve fresh stinkin' blood. The obvious next step is to stop causing big bleeds in people you know and care about, because that's how you stop smelling like the vital life liquid. By not stabbing and opening hearts of people you are meant to love and care for, extracting their heart out, rubbing it all over your face and leaving them for dead. Though you know in your heart they're not really dead, just going to have a very painful and suspicious life. Still, you think it's never going to come back to you, and you can pretend you actually meant to cut the chicken and it wasn't even a deep cut in their hearts okay why are they making such a big drama why do women have to be such big drama queens, your ex the one you've complained about a thousand times because that's how you justify your bloodthirst was such a vampire herself and you're the victim here, you're the biggest goddamn victim in the world but nooo nobody will see you for that everybody thinks they're the victims no so oooh find that small protrusion in your heart cavity and you're the freakin' murdered of one of those tv show. Abandon that line of thinking. Do not use sharp knives around people if you can't be careful with those. For the punctures you've made in the past, send healing potions and bandaid, so they don't spill their blood all around and stink up the neighborhood in general.

If the stench comes not from you but from one of your near and dear ones, or even somebody who you hang out with occasionally because there's not much else happening and if you're invited thirty minutes before the plan you're not gonna let it go because it's a slow week and weekend and hey everybody needs some socilializing, understand that the only way to not completely smell like that is to either tell them the points from 1), and have them not be swimming in human blood, or limiting contact with them. Right along with the 'limit contact' goes 'warn others' where you will let the potential victims know that they might be jumped on and have their hearts be viciously attacked for the precious life-liquid and you'd rather they stay safe and sound and not be bothered so they might want to increase their guards against people they may not otherwise suspect of being blood vampires. It is understandable if the first part, the limiting contact, may not be completely possible, in which case your best bet is to limit the victim pool but if it's a crowded area that gets harder. It comes down to you in the end, do you want your clothes and your body have that deep pungent rotting smell of human blood which won't leave you after a thousand showers or would you rather just limit your social contact for the next few months?

This one's a little unconventional, but trust me this is something that works. Avoid being seen in the same photograph with those drenched in the blood. Or taking any photos that have you and them together. Blood can blot in from the image and affect your real being, which sucks but that's the nature of such things. And specially, if the photos is seen by other human beings, the inky particles are somehow excited and the diffusion of the stench is faster, it's almost worse than being in close physical contact.

Finally, and this is the dangerous one because it may mean you'll be a weird character like Van Helsing, but you can turn yourself into a vampire hunter and try to eliminate the bloodshed with personable and persuasion skills, sort of the silver stake of social lives. It can go against you particularly if everybody else is a vampire even when nobody likes the stench of blood, but the rewards are big too, decisive action against the vampires can cause others to stop spreading their vampiric nature out of fear and eventually we can all be reasonable human beings who don't rip one another's hearts for sports.

Good luck and g'day!