Top ten signs you're not a good lawyer

10. You thought 'habeas corpus' had something to do with a murder mystery that everybody was in on but nobody explained to you what the rules were and whose 'corpus' you had to find.

9. You thought the quickest way to get into the Great Black Widow Murderer's pants was to defend her in the court.

8. When you enter the court, the opposing counsel throws a big celebration with pinatas and everything, and offers to get the first two rounds for everybody present after the case is over.

7. You are called by the opposing counsel as a witness on every case.

6. You discovered only in your sixth year of active practice "pro bono' does not have anything to do with U2's Bono.

5.  Your first day of job involved you showing up in clown costume because you thought everybody dressed up just to make a stronger point.

4. The back of your business card is a coupon for taco bell.

3. Your clients pay you in amazon gift cards and western union money transfers.

2. When the presiding judge asks for order, you ask for two plates of momo, an extra strong gorkha beer, and fresh lemon soda.

1.Your idea of lawyering is to shout out the opponents and walk out with great poignancy, leaving everybody else confused and bewildered.