Q. The milbloggers are making a whole lot of claims about the status of our army and making some wild recommendations. Is there any truth to that?
A. None whatsoever. They are deluded fools, who while quite patriotic, have no idea about the state of the world and re like little crybabies in their cots, unable to see the reality for what it is.
Q. Some of them have produced visual evidence, and otherwise corroborated information that the defense ministry has categorically denied. How can they be lying when all of them have found similar evidence from different sources
A. It is all faked evidence planted by the enemy, who our patriotic yet misguided and uninformed comrades take for the truth because they don't understand the true victory for the enemy is not just our physical destruction but also ego destruction, that we lose respect for ourselves. They have fallen into that trap.
Q. What IS the actual status of our forces in the regions of interest?
A. As explained in a previous FAQ, we are winning, we are winning on all the fronts and all the rounds, and there is absolutely nothing to be worried about. We are slowing down for the sake of our enemies to catch up because we want to play a fair fight, we would have made it to Berlin by now if we used our full force.
Q. Why are we NOT using our full force?
A. Because what is the value of it? There is no point in exposing your full might and abilities. Do you use a rocket launcher to kill a mosquito? No. In a similar manner we have not used our full set of abilities because the time is not right. Yes, a mosquito is annoying and sometimes you have trouble defeating it, but it doesn't mean it's stronger than you are.
Q. What about the claimed loss of manpower from various regions further outside the capital?
A. Let us be clear. Because we are so confident we will not be losing too much of our manpower, we have offered great rewards for any loss of soldiers who will be martyred in this operation. If we thought we were going to lose men to this cause, we would not be offering all this money and potentially going bankrupt. As a result of all the money however, people have become greedy. We have heard of instances where greedy villagers have signed up for the fighting forces, and then abandoned their posts, gone back to their hometowns, and then fabricated evidence of their own wartime deaths to collect the monetary compensation. They will be dealt accordingly with the legal system.
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