I stopped with the meditations because my sleep cycle was all messed up, I couldn't go to sleep until like two in the morning, which meant I had to get up at 9. Too tired and confused in the evenings, and distracted due to lack of proper sleep in the days, the meditations got shorter, and my motivation lower. Eventually the sleep situation took care of itself, but I didn't go back to meditating.
If there's two, three things in life I should be focusing on, four things actually, it's meditating, writing, living by checklists, and walking. I've been down on all of these in recent days, and it's been hard to start up the engine, and I'm going to blame the weird sleep situation, as well as the fact that I have been overextending myself at work. And the storms have made it miserable to leave the house, there's no motivation and I don't want to do anything but stay in, youtube, reddit and all. Yes, I deleted reddit again, but I can't seem to help it.
Which makes me wonder, if February is really truly the worst month for me, because it's so cold and snowy often, that I find myself the least productive in these weeks. And perhaps because of the low-low place I discover myself in, March is better, which is why most of my 'motivations' arrive in March. This is thanks to my journal at work, and this thing I've been noticing, because then I can be aware and conscious and do things to improve myself. Maybe go crash with friends for the whole month, and beg them to force me to write and walk and meditate, because if I can't make myself do things, my friends should at least try, no?
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