Restless sleepless lazy morning, confused dazed workday, bread butter and fruit lunch, anxiety-ridden post-work, May's food, I hangouts, writing [Thu 11]

I write this at 11.44 of the same day, something written before the midnight freaking finally. I was going to write three more posts before this got out, but I'm too sleepy and tired to make it that far. Besides I need to make a habit out of sleeping early or it'll be hard to set on a nice schedule the sort I'll soon be in since I've started writing once again.

Motivating myself to write during the day has been hard, anything before 10.30 at night is an accomplishment, if just a line. There's some messed-up incentives I'm sure, if only I can have myself be disciplined enough to write in the morning as well in the evening. After this I'm 'running' behind by only a single day's worth of posts, aka it's like I was too lazy to write today. I'll spend an hour writing tomorrow in the morning, and half an hour in the evening, and we're back playing our old game, doing fiction and weird other things. I should be reading more new yorker to be inspired, i I want to be less hackish, something to consider.

I've been writing for the last hour-and-half, before which I watched several episodes of Taskmaster yet again. Before that foth I and PK and I were hanging out and talking, about our moving plans, and where we want to be soon, British comedy, families, goals, etcetera. We watched some british panel shows as well. PK and he started playing video game and I came into my room then. Roommate BB is in Maine already.

Before that I ordered from the local chinese place for a takeout. An order of meatless mapo tofu, a sweet and sour soup and rice. Fifteen bucks, decent deal, one of the worst chinese food I've ever eaten. Maybe it's the fact that I've very rarely perhaps never quite eaten the Chinese American cuisine because I was thoroughly disappointed. There was zero flavor in the mapo tofu, it was like I was being mislead. As if they stopped putting spices halfway into the cooking of the food, and later expected me to complete it. I don't want to brag, but even with by extremely lazy crappy cooking, I can whip up a better dinner for myself than the crap I spent my money on. Oh dear. That's not a good thing to say about anyone or anything.

After work, I chilled for two hours trying to decide if I wanted to put any energy to work for tomorrow's meeting, since I've been stressing about it for the last two months, that's the reason, the real reason I now it that my schedule's been thrown off the course, my sleep's been messed up and life's been less than ideal. Decided not to do it because what's the point and also I was hungry. So it was...something.

Work was lazy and tiring, all meeting pre-lunch and a bit of planning and figuring stuff out after, didn't get much work done, but I have a clear idea of what needs to be done for tomorrow.

Lunch was four slices of the nice bread I got from when pigs fly, and some amazing melted Maine butter. Yum. And a banana, and another fruit, nectarine I think it was.

Got up at 6 in the morning, despite sleeping at 2 because I needed to pee, but the room was too cold and I was too lazy so I didn't use the restroom . Listened to podcasts instead, eventually got up and got things done, but that meant I was tired and sleepy for the rest of the day.

Right now i just want to go to bed, and I'm finally going to bed before one in a while, hurray, this is a big achievement. Now I should decide if I want to at least spend a week in good mood and structured timetable, or go to friend's place in Philly for valentine's day, hang with chums and friends' sisters. Yikes!