Some part of January and early February was a little bit disorienting, confusing, annoying and perhaps extremely demotivating for me. I stopped my writing plans, stopped with the walks, the meditations were discontinued, and I've been still wasting all my time in the useless social media websites I'd long ago banished from my life. I was losing sight of who I was as a person, the things I cared about, and how I could find who I was.
Then I talked to SA for a couple of hours. We've known each other for a decade now, on and off, and we don't talk very often but when we do it's for many many hours. We caught up on each other's lives, her situation had changed which was exciting because she wasn't living by herself anymore and there was family close by to her. And then we talked about hobbies, interests, the things we've been making, people we've been seeing, parties we've been thinking about going to etcetera. There haven't been parties, really, except small hangouts. It sucks, it's getting tiring.
And that's the relevant part here. The world has been hiding from everybody else for a year now, it's gotten tiring, we've lost sight of the people we once were, potentially our collectively psychology has been modified for good. We're getting the grumpies, we don't know how to talk to other people anymore. It feels like we're different beings from the people we were before the pandemic began.
Once I talked to her though, I got a better sense of what I used to care about, and what I care about now. And then PN, N, and all other friends, as well as family, getting back in touch with the old social circle you haven't talked to for a year reminds you of 'your' ego, of your personality, social behavior, and basically the person you are. If you're happy with that great, if not, it creates a direction for you to travel towards.
The year was a 'lost' one, some say it gave time for us to look into ourselves and understand truly what it was that we cared about. And sure the pandemic has not ended yet, but the mental toll that it has taken upon us needs to be worked on. And that begins by physical interactions, talking, reminiscing joking, flirting, and grounding ourselves into the people we used to be.
The social antibiotics that fight the diseases of the mind are coming back, making us into stronger more robust, adaptable people.
My friends remind me the sort of person I am and want to become, they encourage and empower me, they are my support system in addition to my family. It has never been more apparent that my family and friends are the only resource I have that I truly care about. I'm so very thankful for that.
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