Flirty mcflirttiness, need to be flirty

Ten years ago...It's been eleven at this point I wrote in these very pages, and in the pages of Kathmandu Post the newspaper, that I didn't know how to flirt. I didn't understand the logic or understanding of it, I was lost in the woods. Despite the best attempts of my friends, acquaintances, loved ones I wouldn't get it, me the dunderhead. So confused, not clear about where everybody was going, what people were doing and most importantly why anybody would do these things.Flirting I mean. I don't understand, I wrote then, the laws of flirtation.

In any case, the last ten years haven't helped much, haven't learned a lot. Only in the last 14 months have I learned to talk to people in some manner that may be interpreted as flirting. Barely. Like maybe if I competed with a thirteen-yearold boy I might come out ahead.

The other piece of progress I've made is that now I can talk to women a few years older than 20. Until solidly into my mid-twenties, only twenty-one yearolds were in my range of maturity, for me to be able to hold interesting engaging conversations. Beyond that I flopped and flailed, desperately catching onto any random chitchat, weather or what they had for dinner to keep the conversations going.

And I blamed everybody else but myself.

Eventually though it was clear it was not the entire world but me and my limitations in social skills. What could I do about that, it's not like one can find people to talk and hang and just chill and tease. Life doesn't work like that. Cool exciting attractive interesting women don't grow on trees. Unless my expectations and standards are too high, and it's literally impossible to get such women?

Something else to talk about: how is the pandemic fking everybody over with regards to relationships, who is even having a good time right now.

I bring it up because it's not easy to meet people, women lately, thanks to the complete disruption of social activities, and online dating situation not working anymore. Even if we were in normal times, it is extremely toxic, not something I'd want to do anyway.

I need to be flirty, with everybody, outgoing and friendly, but there's not enough opportunities to be out there and just have fun.