Eight themes you should write on to make a popular nepali novel

1. SEX. No originality required, shamelessly ripoff crappy hindi pulpy horny novels, or english 'erotica', even 'lady chatterly's lover', which isn't really that sexy it was so outrage-causing only because of the social dynamics of the parties involved in the otherwise class-conscious england, will get people's blood flowing up and down their skinny, sun-soaked very tired veins.
   
   
2. LOVE. AND SEPARATION. I don't want to satirize my favourite poet or genius, but think about this. A couple get married. Were they in love before? Who cares! They're married, she's helpless, he's the only thing he's got. He goes abroad, she wanna come, he's got a mother that needs looking after. She's not tooo tooo old, but yanno what, free manpower etc. He goes to the biglands, makes bigmoneys, get sick on the way, almost dies, some mountain dude saves him, brings him back to health. The news of his ill-health comes back, but not of his recovery. Mother dies because of poor health. Wife does too. Older sister, who we only learn about in the last few pages, tells him it'll be okay. He dies too. It would not pass the bechdel test, whatever.
   
   
3. POLITICAL INTRIGUE AND MYSTERY. Mostly conspiracy theories. DID YOU KNOW WHO KILLED THE POLITICAL LEADER? Or how the cia was involved in literally every small non very special thing that happened? Or how the cold war was actually fought in Nepal, and without it nothing would have been solved, because you do now!
   
   
4. Mountains and rivers, mountain and river. You know, how beautiful are the mountains, how cool are the rivers, the water from the rivers flow below the mountains, it fertilizes the soil, the soil that gives us nice-smelling cool red flower. And that bitchin' biiird, amiriteeee.
   
   
5. SAD VILLAGE LIFE. Saddo does sad things. Bad things happen to him. And then it only gets worse. They steal both his kidneys, sell his teeth, kick him in his toothless mouth, use his hair to make teddy bear, ride him like a horse, etc etc. I don't want to make too much fun of this because this is all to real, could be documentary, unfortunately.
   
   
6. HOW TO DEVELOP NEPAL. This is not a novel, obviously. But it could be. About fictional governments passing fictional policies, that would ahem, develop the country. To be...developed, in a very developed manner. Great development, superman!
   
   
7. BIOGRAPHY. Everybody wants to write a biography, and they do tend to sell well to, what can you do, but ya gotta be famous and liked for people to buy it, and also publish salacious excerpts in the newspapers so you bait your readers into buying the book. You ain't doing this too many times, might as well burn all the trust ya got.
   
   
8. Pretend translations of religious or political texts. They can be ninety percent interpretative, and you can put in a lot of your imagination in there, just needs to claim to be a translation of a much better-known work and let the free marketing do its thing. By the time people are wiser, you won't care for it. Also they ain't gonna know because if they did, they'd have read the original version.