Inspired by IT Crowd.
TO: Who it may concern
Dear Sir/Madam,
I'm writing this to report an ongoing robbery attempt at 3 Main Street in Downtown, third floor. I am composing this on a cellphone from a safe closet with brightness turned low on my phone so as to avoid being discovered.
This evening I found myself under interesting circumstances. Because I went on a hiking trip during the course of the day, I was quite tired and ready to fall asleep. However in my rush for relaxation I compromised on the most basic security measure of all time, closing the door. As I slept on my bed, I chose to not turn on the lights, so as to assist in my sleep.
It was then that I heard to voices whistling and rustling downstairs. I was too fearful to check up physically, so I used the security app on my cellphone to check the cameras downstairs, and it was clear that there were two gentlemen sitting comfortably unaware I had been back home for some time, packing away my valuables into cardboard boxes. I could have interrupted them, quizzed them on what they were doing chewing down my nice leather material, but it didn't seem like a good time, with all those heavy weapons on them and what not.
Oh and strangest o all things, there was already a home invading criminal present in the building but I guess the height of the other bs was soo great, everybody missed out on the other party.
In any case, I took that opportunity to hide myself in the bedroom closet -- it's a hidden entry that I doubt those idiot thieves will find out. I looked up the number to your local police constabulary, and encountered the email ID instead, so I figured I'd provide a live running commentary, and give you all to communicate back higher-level conformation.
Therefore, HELP HELP HELP, THERE'S ROBBERS HERE AND THEY'RE STEALIN EVERYTHING. HELP HELP HELP.
Sincerely,
RW
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