Eight things I learned after coming to America

1. The roads here weren't paved with gold.
   
   
2. The roads here weren't paved at all.
   
   
3. I was expected to be the one doing all the paving.
   
   
4. As people dumped their shit and pis on me from their windows.
   
   
5. All of this in a deep dark tunnel that could as well have been a dungeon...
   
   
6. Supervised by a red-colored man with a trident and a rotten-egg smell
   
   
7. As I was set on undying fire and stung by bees on every inch of my skin
   
   
8. All of this while standing on my head.