I've written on this on various posts spread all over. I know what I want to do in my professional life, the exact job at the exact company, for the exact product and a very specific goal in mind. It's unclear if one will ever get there, but the vision is distinct, I can feel it on my bones. I want it, I need to execute it perfectly. Therefore, website work gotta be prioritized. I also have a really good sense of what I need to do at work, and how to get there, but it's a bit messy there, because I have inculcated so much bad habit with all these years of laziness and resistance and general anxiety and guilt and boredom, that all of that needs to be undone. I have a clear project ahead of me, and I need to work on it. Let's do this!
And for my life, I've found the calling, the task that I want to do for the rest of my life, that I'd be happy to abandon much else in terms of work or motivation to do. It would combine basically every skill and piece of knowledge I've gathered upto this point, and will need so much more to find myself be effective. It'll take networking skills, guile, academic chops, hard work, writing, research and just understanding different cultures. There will be so much to learn, so much to cook and ferment, so much to travel. I know I want it, I know what the output is going to be. I just need to put myself in the position to be able to afford doing that. And to position that way, I need to get my professional role from the first para done.
It's clear what is important in my other parts of personal life as well, I discovered as I was talking to my therapist earlier today. Maybe it won't work out for me, and it's unlikely folks get exactly what they desire, but I'm happy to report I know exactly what I'm looking for, and what paths might get me the desired goal.
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