Reflections on reflecting and meditating

I have been doing the meditation, visualization, and affirmation from savers technique for about a month now, and quite consistently for the last three weeks. It's been the last seven days where I have done them pretty uninterrupted. I want to take this opportunity to take stock and see where I'm at, how I'm benefitting and considering how or what might need to be changed from my routine.

First the timing: doing it in the morning is so much better than doing it in the afternoon or the evening, though both are better than not doing at all, which is the absolute worst. Second, when I'm doing my sessions, I'm so much at ease, so much in a relaxed mood, which is always a win. Third, the exact nature of those sessions is not always stable, some sessions I'm better and others I'm more impatient and cannot focus as well, but the direction of internal journey towards and understanding is being reached. Fourth, these sessions legitimately give me energy, make me feel strong, and help me retrieve those parts of memory that I have not really rewarded because those were the occasions I really did well whether I was to be given a credit or not. So reminding oneself of one's greatness didn't feel right, but that is to be expected and one must be prepared to deal with partners who don't like to toot their own horn, so to speak.

Fourth, and this is specifically about meditation, this feels different from the headspace meditations I was doing in covid times. This time around I have more or less a goal, a destination where I'm headed though it's okay if I don't necessarily reach there. And I am doing it in a self-guided manner, using experience from those sessions. So when I'm trying to be in the presence, I can very much understand the trees, nature, and people. It's really good that everytime I finish my meditation, I feel like the session could be a little longer, maybe twice as much.

Fifth, the envisioning of success and what it might look like, and setting a separate part of the day towards it, has made me realize all of this is quite possible, and the hindrance might not be there at all. So  I could take control of a big company or technology, and guide it to success. Like, I'm not any less capable than the other randoms who get these jobs, and the question of experience etcetera often becomes moot because people come from so many directions to those jobs, and I have a very distinct specific reason.

Finally, I'd be so down to doing this at work, or doing this twice a day if it makes sense. In the past I've written on this blog about how it might make sense to plan and meditate before each productive session, even writing time. I'm inching towards that way once again, thought not for permanency reasons.