I must be doing something wrong, somewhere, surely

This is gonna be a short post, because it's too personal and because I thought of it more than two weeks ago. I've finally come around to writing this. On the other hand there have been reasons to think about this more seriously even in the most recent days. I was talking to friend N about this -- regular readers will remember I'm on this journey to open myself more to near and dear ones, and just let the tension relax a bit to live a more chill and anxiety-free life -- and he gave some good pointers, unclear if I'm going to be following them. Anyway the point I'm trying to get at is I've had several incredibly rewarding and fun days with people I care about, and really connected both ways with even more persons, and they've not gone too far. I must be doing something wrong, somewhere, unclear whatever. Thinking is tiring.