Nine stupid things to say in the court

1. In my defense, I did not technically run, I drove slowly so if anyone saw me it'd look like I was looking around for help.
   
   
2. I take offense at the "Grand" because there was nothing so grand about the whole thing. The car was old and broken and if I didn't borrow it, it was bound to be trashed very soon. In that sense I did a favor to the owner.
   
   
3. It really seemed like there was no one watching and there were no cameras....So I thought I'd never get caught, really I'm not an evil person if I thought there was even a remote chance of getting caught I'd not do it.
   
   
4. Yes, I started it but that's because he called me mean names and everyone should know that calling me mean names can have serious consequences.
   
   
5. I thought all missiles had pointy bits, and this was like just some large shell or something and it wouldn't have the impact it ended up having.
   
   
6. When they told me to fire at the tank, I really thought I was attacking a watertank of some sort because I would never ever do something mean to other people even if they happened to be my enemies at the time.
   
   
7. I thought she was an honorable respectful kind human being who gave her partner all the space they wanted, not some controlling bitch who would go check on her husband's phone to see who the women who he was giggling at when texting were.
   
   
8. I did the crime, I'm fully responsible, I planned it all out, I chopped the tree, I sold it for a lot of money, I used that money to buy drugs, sold them in retail to vulnerable junkies and college kids also single parents, and then used the drug money to start a human trafficking empire.
   
   
9. When he said shoot, I didn't realize he was cursing at his facebook battery.