Nine things I like to think about before doing taxes

1. I wonder what the worst punishment possible is if I just skip my taxes this year.
   
   
2. Oh wait nevermind, I actually deserve to get a lot of money from the IRS. THOSE MFKERS THINK THEY CAN SCREW ME OVER by keeping my money with then for years and years noway jose nowaay, I'm gonna get them to cough up my precious moolah they owe me and I'm gonna do so many great things, this year is gonna be so so so good.
   
   
3. Okay wait shit, I need my w2 for this, I don't feel like doing this, maybe later. [2 weeks later] Okay I'm all set, got my w2 and everything here we go! Hereee...we....goooo. Oh crap I need 1099 HC for the state filing and I don't have that with me don't know where to look it up, guess I'm gonna do that a couple of weeks from now because it seems like a lot of work to search for that sigh.
   
   
4. Wait, tax deadline was two months ago? Shit. I should ask for an extension. ALSO I DESERVE AN EXTENSION BECAUSE THEY OWE ME MY MONEY and they ain't gonna get away with it no siirreee.
   
   
5. It appears as if my information is incorrect and in fact I owe them, the IRS, much much monies. Crap. Thank god I asked for an extension.
   
   
6. Okay hereee we goo. Hereeee we gooo. I wonder if I should really file everything, including bank interests, dividends paid all of that. This is such a scam it is, they're just waiting for you to make a small mistake. They've already got all that data in the fancy government documents but won't use that just to test if you're honest or not and beat the shit out of you legally if you fail their test. This is such bullshit.
   
   
7. Freaking phew I'm glad that traumatic event is over, no I'll never have to touch anything taxrelated for the rest of the year, I'm a freee man now, very much a man who is freee from the shackles of taxation until the next year at least.
   
   
8. Okay, here's a nice-looking document from the government, bet it's an apology letter with the monies they owe me probably and a lot more. Nevermind, this is just an technical explanation of what I should have been doing all along but didn't set things right. Whatever. They should get the local people to do that.
   
   
9.  Effing eff eff eff, this involves four hour of phone conversations with the IRS people my life is over it's the worse how am I going to make it through this I'm not even kidding completely these things can be quite difficult and stressful specially for people whose first language is not nglish and they don't have a confident attitude towards the language and its speakers here. Okay I am going to be fine, I'll spend some time nursing food for the grand uncle and everything will be open and bright and nice again, if only they stopped looking at you so creepily.