Some ramble ramble about shame in not writing

 Yea yea yea I admit I've been getting lazy and tired and feeling this whole thing, which should be the guiding light, the fucken' lighthouse that tells me where to be, more respectfully but I've gone the opposite way and that's a bit of a  bummer. Nobody's not agreeing with that. Where I have my problems, however, dear sirs and madames is the fact that new locations means new disruptions, new goals, new life, and the new location hasn't given me new passions and new goals, it's just made me re-evaluate existing worldview with a finer-toothed comb and I've come to the realization that yepp I'm still the same person, still want the same things, except the dreams and hopes and desires that I held back because I was living in the boonies due to circumstances that were foisted upon one by time destiny and circumstances have changed, and some of them can come back. It's not a bad thing, necessarily, in fact a greater exploration of one's needs and desires and hopes is always a good thing.

So why then have I started acting like a lazybum not writing not caring, not being inquisitive, not being passionate, and just going with the flow, a very sad boring one at that, the same sort of default mindset that moving to a new town was supposed to break. That is not at all exciting, and I'm quite disappointed I didn't do better. I have dreams aspirations and ambitions that are way beyond what my trajectory suggests, and I'm not going to let my laziness, my body and otherwise often tired mind because of the fucken' traffic and homeless people being noisy at night stop me, no siree, I'm  goddamn serious person, there are some things I want, and I shall get them. This is a threat. This is a challenge. Some times it hurts, But who cares.

I shall move on.