The ten sort of people I'll talk to at bars and clubs because why not

1.  People with interesting tattoos because they've got stories, and always so eager to tell them.
   
   
2. People with interesting items of clothing, such as a crocheted bra somebody wore to the bar the other day, that their friend, who maybe died last year (?) -- it was so noisy in my defense, I couldn't make much -- made for them, and they always get really get comments for it!
   
   
3. People with interesting beards who remind me of British comedians -- both the beard AND the person remind me.
   
   
4. People with cute dogs and cats who are trained to act like dogs.
   
   
5. Random people who are children of hippy parents who told them they could literally do whatever they wanted to, wouldn't have to go to college if they didn't care for it, and just amble about doing odd jobs here and there, waiting for their parents to die and inherit the multi-million estates. How the F are the hippies so rich, or were they always so?
   
   
6. Cute women who're checking me out.
   
   
7. Cute women who're blowing kisses at me for no good reason, and I wonder if it's a pity kiss or a passion one, but like who the hell cares, as long as I'm not working against apathy, I'm winning.
   
   
8. Bartenders and servers and bouncers, so I don't have to be in the line to get in, in the future, and also it feels good to be a regular.
   
   
9. People in the line waiting for the restroom, because the restroom is locked and we think it's somebody who's taking a big dump but it's quite possible they're doing coke in there, or OD'd and died, or maybe the restroom was never open.
   
   
10. Lifelike statues of popular celebrities that I mistake for a real person, whom I ask if they're a popular person because they seem familiar, and then get mad because they don't reply.