Top ten places I'd rather piss at instead of Cha Cha's nasty nasty toilet

1.  My pants. Teeheheeeh. It was all a setup for this single point.
   
   
2. That alley a couple of blocks over because nobody else is there when I am, but it's clearly been used, and also homeless people seem to avoid it for some reason.
   
   
3. McD 'vicodin' restroom, syringes strewn about. That's the situation of the American middle class, it's our reality, yet nobody wants to deal with the cause of it, and those who're profiting off of other people's misery and death. Wow that got serious real quick.
   
   
4. Next door, buy a pizza slice next door just to use their restroom.
   
   
5. A different bar, any bar really that actually cares about its patrons' pissing situation. Now that I think about it, this is probably why there's fewer and fewer women in there. Because they've stopped caring for the bathrooms. And why there's so many women at Comet, because their bathrooms are top-class.
   
   
6. The grassy patch in the park, it won't stink up because it'll rain soon and also I don't want to burst my bladder.
   
   
7. By a tree, like a dog, if the doggoes can do it so can I.
   
   
8. One of those 'bladders' you can buy online, for certain sporting activities, where you connect it to your crotch, and can pee all you want, it'll collect in the packet and you can dispose of it later.
   
   
9. River.
   
   
10. Yo Momma. Heh.