Ten reasons you can't sleep too well

1.  The conscience of having murdered too many innocent human beings, probably. This is a joke, it's supposed to be funny, grow up.
   
   
2. Because of the ambulance, cop cars, fire trucks
   
   
3. And the assholes that drive loud racecars without silencers at 3am and 4am without so much as a hint of human decency
   
   
4. And the homeless person who is shouting at 4.30 in the morning, nonstop for two hours where is he even getting the energy from how are his vocal chords not fried, about how judgment is nigh and you all are going to hell you must repent yadda yadda yadda jeeebus man just go to sleep and let us sleep.
   
   
5. Because you didn't go to bed on time and now your sleep's all messed up
   
   
6. Because you napped for many hours in the afternoon and now you're sleep's messed up
   
   
7. Because you drank a lot of water before going to bed, due to the danger of dehydration caused by high heat, and can't go back to sleep because you'll need to go to sleep again
   
   
8. Work is only 1 hour away and you're afraid if you go to sleep now, you won't wake up on time
   
   
9. Stress and anxiety related to not sleeping properly
   
   
10. Those goddang podcasts are so good, they're releasing new episodes every day and you decided to play one of them in the background to make you go to sleep, except you're hooked and paying attention so OOPS it didn't the opposite of what you intended it to cause.