At least I'm killing it at work

So I skipped writing entirely yesterday, which even for my super duper low motivation days, is quite an achievement. On the bright side I went to bed at 10.30, and oh boi what a sound sleep I had. Sometimes I just don't understand my body. One week I have trouble sleeping, I lay in bed for hours and hours without being so much as to get a wink, and the next week I have trouble keeping my eyes open, the problem is that I can't get early enough in the morning.

So the productivity, as defined by my interest and commitment in posting here, and doing things I enjoy regularly has taken a hit, yes. I like to lie in my bed and do nothing, watch tv. Even walks have started becoming hassle, but I take them anyway because what else is there do this in these awful terrible times ugh.

The goddamnfucking pandemic, why won't it just end, there's end in sight at least, so we can look forward to that, but how one wishes it just disappeared one day. It's just sucked out the energy and motivation from the best of us, alas. We need to do something about it. Not like ignore common sense, guidance and instructions by smart people, but like idk, pray to the raingods or something to that effect and have whatever deity caused this be punished like mad harshly.

Anyway, so lets get back to the topic at hand, which is that despite all the low motivation posts, and the laziness in getting up and complete abandonment of commitment to other things, at least work is going well and I'm not completely and totally slacking off. Yes it's all been meetings as of late, but meetings is where I thrive, preparing for them, talking through them, organizing them, bargaining and negotiating with people, and coming to results. I'm a born manager I realized, love managing people and earning rewards etcetera.

That's the strange but obvious realization I JUST came up with, something my parents realized when I was six. You love talking, they told me, everybody really, and you're too lazy to get anything done, you'll thrive in one of those jobs that needs a lot of talking. Like a professor, or a haakin, or manager of some sorts in a big company, that's what you'll be good at, they predicted.

Nostradamiii!

Because I talked at a meeting of my own organization for three hours, nonstop, just blah blah blah blah blah, I did that, this is how we do this, and over there, and this, and now that, so on and so forth, nonstop, it's wild really how much I can talk, and be proud of it, and make it look like I'm working. If things get done, ahh well.

A manager's job is the best because your job is to talk and convince people have show things, and not have to worry about doing them. That's somebody else's job. I guess if there's like dark times ahead, you need to be concerned, but yeah that's always a bad situation.