Some resons productivity has gone down and what to do about it

this is some hardcore freewriting nothing to inspire me or guide me just to kill the time, get the postcount up there and get done for the day so I may sleep a goodnight's sleep, that's the only thing we can hope for now since motivation is down the drain I wonder why thinking it's work-related I promised something and haven't been able to deliver not really exactly my fault since I haven't had the time to work on it at all, kind of a bummer but that's where we are, I'm so very pissed at how meeting heavy work has been and the seven multiple things I've been juggling and worrying about, and now that's affecting my holidays and free time, living in my head rent free and taking my meditations away from me, this is not pleasurable,, i need to work harder smarter and quicker, this needs a good resolution.

when do i even stop, what's the good amount of work to convince myself that the post looks beefy enough i gave it a fair shot, nothing more to do, after all this is all for the post count is it not, for this is not helping me improve my writing, there's nobody reading these anymore and if there is come forward truly let me know if you're reading this and i will give you twenty bucks to the first person who shows me these words because I'm that confident nobody's reading me, even the future me, at least a year from now on if I remind myself that I wrote this and come read this, then if nobody's claimed it by then I'll give myself twenty bucks, these shit words are unreadable and almost by design, it's shouldn't be that way but the anxiety caused by work performance combined with the lack of free time to actually work at work and then the fear of getting things wrong, disappointing people has taken its toll on me, thought that the blog would be greatly therapeutic but where are the good effects bub, where are the good effects.

now that i've blocked all the shitty websites from my devices, tata youtube tata twitter facebook any other related website, my productivity will go sky high i just know, need to eat well and sleep well and I'll be kicking it like a villain for sure.

there's nothing to gained by wasting my time in those soul and time sucking metally draining emotionally consuming websites, or the junk food for the soul and the mind, as I call them, need to cut down on the junkfood of information, get working out and leave with peace and quiet, meditation and mindfulness are the only way to go, I must submit, totally submit to the world of peace and awareness. That is where the future lies, the bright successful future of my desire, and just like that I'm at five hundred words, wasn't too painful was it.