Yes, I'm complaining about masturbation jokes, yes this is a shade

 Sure, I'll giggle and laugh at your masturbation jokes the first few times. You'll say you know you know I'm just trying to be funny, the trouser I was dumping by manjuice on during my teens was obviously not so crusty as to stand up on two legs, I mean yeah it did sorta bounce when I threw it around but nobody was wiser in anyway, it was just jokes and young people crap, it's all a joke, etcetera.

But really, I'm not happy about it, I'd rather not know your journey into teenagehood and adult years, the course of self-discovery, your innovation in optimizing how you could get there the quickest, the socializing you had had with your friends that was around it, and what a horny mofo you were in your teens. Again, I don't want to know about all the places you masturbated, and the risky times you almost got caught, and how oh so funny, maybe the servant boy sleeping in the same room was probably masturbating in the same trouser of a cumrag you used, that could almost be reanimated.

Call me old fashioned, call me names, tell me I'm being so prissy, as somebody who went to a boarding school surely I must have heard or seen or done worse. And the answer is no, I didn't care for it, sex and religion are two things that must stay within people's bedrooms, even if they're so disgusting that the other person might giggle because the tale is so strange and awkward and they're kinda' high, this would not be a good material for a standup comedy.

And the reason is this. It is literally everybody's story. Which would be good under normal situation because that'd mean they'd identify, but no it just means people think of their embarrassing times, the occasions they've been inconsiderate jerks, the troubles they must have caused to the adults then, and it comes rushing in because they're the adults now and very soon in the foreseeable future they're going to be the adults who'll have to deal with their progeny's cum-soaked, crusty trousers, and that'll just break their hearts. How time flies, they'll realize, the future is uncertain, the roles are now reversed now, and they'd rather be the young innocent fool than burdened with the harsh truth of reality. And they can't maintain their innocence because of the incessant jokes about it. Alas.

Yes, I'm quite old fashioned that way.

Sex jokes are funnier than teenage masturbation jokes. Sex is a shared experience, happens when people are more or less on the precipice of being fully cooked, there's so much more agency and awareness, people are more comfortable with their bodies, and know what they want. The foibles during sex are human foibles, they reveal our insecurities and uncertainties, and make light of those. Teenage masturbation jokes are about immature humans doing stupid things, unaware of any of it, and trudging along in their belief that their secrets are safe. We can make fun of the stupidity and crassness yes, but it's not comedy, it's the tragedy of sexual repression, the unwillingness to have honest conversations about our bodies and sex and masturbation. They're a reflection of the societies we come from. And it's an ugly look, I'd rather not see.