buhuhuhu i wanna write but can't focus what da heck

This is the third -- and one hopes final -- post in the 'oh noes I can't write anymore what is wrong' series of this month. So I've been having issues writing, sitting down to write and concentrating basically. Lots of staying awake until 3am to 'write' but never actually getting around to doing it.

Truth be told, the title tells it all. I would sit down, and promise to myself that I'd get the timer to write started 'in fifteen minutes'. The good thing is, once the timer does start, I can't go without writing, so some progress there at least. And then, four hours later I'd be like, oh no, where did the time go, shit I should write now. But then if I didn't sleep immediately the rest of the night would be lost too, so I'd give up and go to bed.

It's about building the discipline muscle, and that muscle's been losing practice, what with changing routines. So perhaps the downstream effects of a new routine are not that your habits get disrupted, because a day or two or four of disruption is in general not a big deal. Maybe it's that the 'habit muscles' get out of practice, and even when you are kind of back in practice, you forget to focus, and it takes an increasing amount of drive and (uh oh, m word coming ahead!) motivation to build it back up.

But as I write, things are changing. I wrote the topic on the 24th, it's the 28th now, and we are only a respectable number of posts 'behind' what we should be doing. Fingers crossed it doesn't get much worse.