Everything's been tight and writing has been hindered, and that's not the top 3 of the most concerning things right now. On paper things should be swimmingly good, and I spend two hours at yoga, have been eating pretty decently, and the social situation cannot be complained about. But I'm so tired in the evenings, and my focus has been so much all over the place, that it's become a problem. Ability to concentrate at work is at record lows, and the drive to get anything interesting or necessary done at home has been in the dumps as well. A potential cause is that my remaining personal hours have been chopped into two by the yoga classes and I'm having issues making use of the islands of time. But how does that explain the work situation? And everything else, including not steaming the floor yet?
It occurs to me that what one of the managers said earlier this week, that I may be a little traumatized from the violence in the fucking neighborhood and don't feel physically secure might be more true than one would give it credit for. It's not clear yet though.
Regardless, everything I've been doing besides the yoga and drawing lately has been a run-out-the-clock situation. Even the walks! I freaking love walks, they're the highest priority! Ugh! I haven't gotten 10k-in-a-row in so long, though 2-3 hours of yoga is maybe a decent justification. But if I'm grounding my life around writing and walking, and am unable to do them because of a shift in priorities, perhaps it makes sense I'm not grounded?
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