How to scam your way out of a tough spot, a quick guide for the local shyster from the orange goon

 Sometimes you have to learn the hard way that you cannot do some things. Like bend your hands the wrong way, you can pretend to be double jointed, lie through your teeth to your supporters about how you're the most flexible man that's ever lived, nobody not even the superhero known formerly as rubber man can outstretch you, they asked you to participate in the olympics but you weren't into that so you rejected the offer, and so on and so forth, but push comes to shove, you have to show them something, even if it's optical illusion, even if it's just some bullshit, you have to put on a show. That's what they're after, a good show, every other lie you spew out of your mouth they will forget and forgive, ohh he was just joking, surely you didn't think he was serious when he said he's a flexible fellow is he, and owh of course, that's a lie too, I never really believed any of that, and he can lie such convincingly, that's one of the great abilities of our greatest leaders you know, all of that, and the show will go on for ever, or well..until it lasts. And when the show ends, the bill comes in.

And boy, oh boy, the bills come rushing in. No bankruptcy is gonna save you this time.

The tentwaallas, the lights people, the sounds folks, the trucks that you reserved, the crowds you paid money for, the media folks you promised to buy ads from, all want their cut. After all, they wouldn't have given you so much free publicity and resources if they thought you were just another liar who wasn't going anywhere. Your lies were quite tangential to them really, what mattered was that their belief the lies would take you somewhere good. And they didn't, you were stuck. Now what? Now, what. They're threatening you with their goons, and those are some strong seriously mustachioed henchmen you don't want to be messing with. They don't care how great of a person you are, or how the Dalai Lama once said you were probably a reincarnation of the Buddha, or that hey you used to be a strongman too, no none of that matters unless the bills are paid. There's no money though, you funneled it all along the..funnel, that was the point of the entire...thing to create a bridge between this election thing and your personal matters, much like that orange ball of pile and shit, and you had expected to succeed. You've got the followers, you got the coverage in the media. You just didn't win anything.

There's no running anywhere, where would you go to, and for how long, they'd get to you eventually, and the interests would be far too high. If they knew for sure they wouldn't be able to get much of their loans back, they wouldn't let you be, your survival depends on their belief that you still have the ability to generate cash and get it done quick, that you're not a scammer who's run his course, but one who's still on the roll. You need to keep rolling, it cannot stop now. You can't afford to get tired, or end it, because when the music ends, you're left without a chair. And you know what happens to deeply indebted people who don't have a chair to sit on...

You come up with yet another idea. Yet another platform, to collect money, for returning the previous cycle's money. You'll borrow more, but this time from the regular people, who won't be able to afford the big muscly goons, use it to return to the serious people after you. If they get the law after you, let them, there are good places to hide from the long arm of law in the nooks and corners, and the arm, if provided with enough lubrication is actually quite slippery. You're not afraid of the brown-shirted goons, you're more fearful of the shirtless pahalwaans who'll tear you into two if they have to.

Close your eyes, take a long breath, long breath, you remind yourself. Religion, that's another way to gain quick money, but that's an investment of a few years, nobody's willing to wait that long for their money back. Could be a longer-term play though, three of the top ten brands are religion based, there's no reason why you shouldn't get one out. The polls are in from one of them enlish newspapers, they're calling you one of india's 25 most influential up-and-coming men. That doesn't translate into dollars and rupees...yet, but it will soon. It will, very soon.