Let's talk about a dangerous topic I wish to not think of even but don't worry it's going to have a positive conclusion

 New year, new goals, new excitement, or so one would think, except I've been having a hard time getting motivated and energetic to do anything 'organized'. I've been writing, but only barely. The sleep has been terrible. Something seems 'off'. Probably the sleep. But the perception of the world is...different? NO matter how hard I try otherwise.

So what if. And these are risky grounds here....something happens inside me, and I think, you know what, not writing today. And then the same the next day, and the next day, and the one following. Until a week passes by, and there's so much to 'catch up' on, there's enough 'good' things happening I don't want to go to my computer, and it just stops, the writing, and I'm too embarrassed to think about it, so this blog is ignored, and everything passes by. What if this is a phase and the phase gets over with?

A few reasons that won't happen, not to worry. Allow me to explain.

First, it's not just yet another phase, I've been doing it for two years, something no other hobby or interest has stayed with me, and I do it pretty much on a daily basis too, again nothing else has come even close. There's no good reason to think it's just a phase.

Second, there's been real test of it in the past, in Feb when I took a month off, but easily came back and started writing. And then there was the pandemic, which stopped me on my tracks for a bit, but I made a comeback and did it again. So there's a track record of me coming back and doing it again, a pattern I could follow. I'd probably not think missing writing was the end of the world.

Which brings me to my third point, I've been learning to be more forgiving to myself, more of a 'half-assed' kinda guy than things need to be perfect always. I'll end up forgiving myself, half less of the embarrassment and just move on. After all, half-assing is better than no-assing, writing something, even if it's just a sentence here and there is better than nothing.

And finally, I've internalized this, that writing and meditation aren't just things I'm doing for fun, or hobbies. They're going to be inherent parts of my life, like...brushing etcetera. With meditation, and writing as well I guess, I haven't been able to do them in the morning because of literal physical reasons, and the output has been inconsistent, only one meditation session today, for example. But. I've been keeping up with these for a long time now, and I've stopped seeing them as chores. Or chores that are part of my life and identity now, how I self-identify. There's no going back. And I'm all the better for it.

Don't worry lovelies, things won't go bad !: )