Q. Why did we move our headquarters to the new location?
A. Because of cost-cutting measures, and the company had already previously acquired the new headquarters we decided that it would optimize the available resources so we could best serve our customers while providing good experience for our employees.
Q. Why does it look so scary?
A. Granted, the architecture is a bit...unconventional, but you might find it strange because you're unused to it. It takes time to get used to new technologies and new paradigms, just like our CEO says. All the brutalist buildings, such a rage in their own times, are now considered to be ugly and evil-looking. So what if our Tower of Doom looks similar, it will only grow on you?
Q. What's up with the large eye on the top of the tower?
A. It's a purely aesthetic feature of the building previously used by the original builders for unknown purpose, so there's no need to be intimidated by it. Having said that we understand that some employees are concerned that we spent so much money for such a wasteful feature, so we're talking to the tech guys to understand the complications behind bringing it back to being functional, so please be patient while we work towards getting the giant fiery eye working once again!
Q. Why does entering the vicinity of the new building fill me with gloom and dark thoughts?
A. Some people have reported that entering the new structure (well for us anyway!) or its surroundings provoke feelings of hopelessness, desolation and gloom. We believe it's not due to the building and possibly due to the new working conditions that the evil Democratic government has imposed on us, so we cannot really do anything about that sorry! SO if you believe PRIVATE PARTIES should NOT be forced to give anybody at LEAST THREE WEEKS of paid vacation for no reason than just existing, please reach out to your local representatives to overturn the ruling, we too feel gloomy and have dark thoughts about the whole situation.
Q. How is such a structure relevant when we make cars?
A. Don't consider your favourite car company as just a car manufacturer, consider it a lifestyle brand. We consider ourselves to be a tech company that makes lifestyle products and we function similarly. So the structure completely fits in our corporate manifesto. It just happens to be the case that we sell cars, but as our fans will tell you, we have also branched out to selling liquor, merch, blowtorches, weapons, rotten carcasses and really anything our wonderful and extremely smart consumer base will spend their precious dollars on.
Q. Are we evil?
A. No more questions, thank you very much.
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