Seven new commandments for the modern world

1.  He who eats the last piece of the pie shall have to acquire a new pie, and also he cannot take a large chunk of the pie and pretend he didn't eat the last pie technically because there was still some remaining left.
   
   
2. He who uses double or even triple-ply toilet paper in their personal toilet but shitty asshurting single-ply toilet paper for the guest bathroom shall find themselves in the lowest level of hell, to be tortured by asswhipping of the not-fun kind.
   
   
3. Cutting in line of any kind, specially while pretending to know somebody and carrying on as if nothing happened, shall be punishable by a hundred years in hell where the soul is not allowed to sit and wait out in the sun in high humidity throughout.
   
   
4. Unless they are able to prove so, any older man claiming the younger woman was actually way more mature for her age and therefore any sort of relationship physical and/or emotional with her was totally fine and/or legal shall have their scrotum stretched apart in the six directions by massive crows for a thousand years.
   
   
5. Any person claiming that homeless persons need to be supported, without providing them housing personally, who insists they should not be removed from the streets as they harrass and bother common citizens shall be forced to share a small apartment with a hundred of the smelliest most annoying roommates who have no sense of boundaries and also will shit and masturbate everywhere inconsiderately.
   
   
6. Anybody who does not observe proper personal hygiene in a social context shall be forced to live with the most annoying roommate who keeps talking big on important political issues but has absolutely no intention to follow up on anything and also they're just pretending to care about those issues where in reality they're in it for rather selfish reasons and they won't stop talking for one moment about it and also they will literally argue to death with people who they agree with the most.
   
   
7. People who hurt or bother pets and animals in general, even the asshole wild ones, will be tortured for all eternity.