Slow and low on motivation, aborted plans, interlaken-volunteer loop, leftover ramen with mozzarella, writing [Mon 22]

 So the entire goddamn day I spent on the orange site and twitter and goddamn reddit and wasn't productive at all, specially during the working hours, I feel awful, I feel guilty, I feel like I need to take a few days off to get my mojo back. I'd say, if I were younger, my mojo is gone and there's something wrong with me, but I suspect this has to do with temporary food and sleep situation, and once I control my physical surroundings of the body, my mental state is going to recover automatically. And even if it doesn't, I shouldn't feel too guilty about the whole thing and take it easy and maybe take a day or two to relax.

Anyway, that was my workday! At 3 I was supposed to attend this mentorship meeting but their zoom link was fucked up and I couldn't get in. I brushed super duper late. Had peanut butter and honey sandwich for lunch. I don't know if people reallllly used to do PBJ sandwiches for brownbag lunch but it's my shameful meal, my 'depression chow' so to speak, in a sense that having it often makes me depressed because I think I'm not a fully functioning human being capable of feeding himself.

Aborted two plans because of my mood. Sb asked me if I wanted to join him for Cathedral yoga which I've been wanting to go for months and months and I said no, because I'd just gotten up from a nap which I hoped would fix my mood, but also because I was too low on energy. And then the gang, invited by AKS(y) went to discovery park for a chill-sesh, I didn't join because I literally told them my energy level was not upto it for the activity.

So it was a matter of great pride when I got my butt out of the house, and walked the interlaken-volunteer park loop. Standard, nothing fancy, did the lower route as usual, listened to tons of podcasts. Spent a solid 20-30 minute at the end of the journey on the top of the 'donut' overlooking the reservoir and the city. It was a moment of peace for me.

Reheated the ramen from yesterday with some mozzarella and it was so yum yum yum. Sat down to write in this blog but instead spent two hours on Youtube until finally getting around to writing these posts, which I've been doing at this point for 1 hour. Hopefully another half hour of doing it and I'll be clsoe enough to call it a day. Then brush and bedtime for me it is. So wish to wake up early and full of energy tomo.