Amber i*n mot*l in Bliss, the strangest experience motel experience yet

Here are some random facts about the motel we're in. I was planning on writing it in essay format but it's just too weird.

• Our BEDroom has a fully-filled wall-mounted metallic kleenex dispenser
• The carpet and the dresser area is clearly from the mid-sixties. At the latest.
• It's located in the weirdest place, on a random unpaved lot that doesn't have anything else and looks like a scary spooky haunted house from faraway.
• The doors have one, and only one key.
• They gave us the wrong room the first time around.
• They gave us the keys to the wrong room the second time around.
• They gave me their 'tracking papers' instead of the room key the third time around.
• The entire family lives behind the counter in their 4-room apartment
• The manager claims the owner is such and such, but it's quite clear this is a family-run establishment, and they're all related to each other
  
• Nobody can keep track of which rooms they have open and which they don't
• The only way of tracking rooms is by putting keys in the pigeonholes for the rooms in the office
• The papers with wifi passwords in the rooms all have the wrong password. And multiple wrong passwords.
• The paper in the counter that's supposed to have the *real* wifi password....still has a completely different wrong password.
• The motel seems to be falling apart from the outside
• One of us got the blanket, and the other didn't
• Nobody can keep track for how they're pricing the rooms
• The phones in the rooms are, not kidding here, rotary phones from possibly the fifties
• This entire establishment is at this weird fking town that gives me the creeps