It turns out that I was doing the 'wrong' version of pushups all this time. The same pushup that made me so jacked-up and made me feel amazing about myself, possibly in the best health of my life. You can't tuck your hands to the side apparently, and you need to get it all tucked in.
That was a bummer, I was going to the gym in Kathmandu, and somebody...a nice person I'm sure, kindly suggested a better posture for me. And that made me want to not do pushups anymore because it was impossible for me. They were not going to be my workout of choice anymore, because why bother?
Then I looked it up online and turns out it's not as clear-cut anymore. It appears that the posture of your hands depends on what part of your upper body you want to focus your workout on, and the flare-out focuses on the chest (and not whatever other part the 'proper' way does). The guy, who has decades of trainer experience, claims that if that's what you want, you should rather do it than not do it at all. And the workout matters to me mostly because it makes me look better, by strengthening my chest area. So yeah, it wasn't so wrong after all.
In conclusion I'll start working out again, and the 'wrong' pushups will go on!
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